Life was actually starting to become harmonious. I even got lucky a couple of times. Can you believe that? It seemed like a gray cloud had been lifted and I could at last see how beautiful the blue sky was up there.
My friend, who suffers from major depression, asked me the other day how I went from being a basement dweller to an independent and happy person. Yes, she actually used the term basement dweller but we joke around all the time about pretty much everything. So, no hard feelings. Anyways, she expressed how happy she was for me that I had moved out of my parents’ place and had grown as a person. I didn’t really know what to say other than “thank you”, but she was right, you know? I didn’t realize the amount of change I could make in my life in such a short span of time. She opened my eyes to it and I realized that I had been progressing forward for a while. It felt stagnant for some time but the changes within me were undeniable. I was crawling out of the hole called depression.
I no longer let depression take control of my life, just as I no longer let others take the important decisions in my life. Life was actually starting to become harmonious. I even got lucky a couple of times. Can you believe that? It seemed like a gray cloud had been lifted and I could at last see how beautiful the blue sky was up there.
I let myself be free of life and people’s restrictions. I did it my way for once. I let myself be who I had been hiding all of this time. Sentences I was too scared to speak, I was now letting out. People that I appreciated, I let them know. It was evident that I was no longer scared of the world around me.
Following this, I asked myself what could have been the biggest change factor to contribute to my happiness in this journey? I had a light bulb moment and I knew it right as I thought about it. Being myself. It was the moment I allowed myself to be free. I let myself be free of life and people’s restrictions. I did it my way for once. I let myself be who I had been hiding all this time. Sentences I was too scared to speak, I was now letting out. People that I appreciated, I let them know. It was evident that I was no longer scared of the world around me.
I now knew what I loved, what I didn’t love, what I wanted to do and what I could do. Now, this wasn’t a miracle moment type-of-thing. It was a process. A pretty damn long process! I had to make all the mistakes that I have made, I had to take all of these seemingly endless steps in order to move forward. It may have felt stagnant but I had been moving all along. That was a great realization. So, it may be a slow process at first but it is worth the patience and perseverance.
Being yourself, as simple as that phrase sounds, it’s not an easy one to execute. To be genuine in life and to be who you truly are, you first have to take the time to get to know the person behind the mirror. Others can fall for the act but you, yourself, you very well know when you are taking an action that is opposite to what your gut is telling you.
So, make the most of it and discover, explore the unknown and forget that fear even exists. Be an explorer of the universe.
Sure, I made a couple of friends when I focused solely on pleasing these new acquaintances. I was acting like I was someone else in order to get their approval. And, I would get their approval. Yay? What that means however is that I throw away any sincerity about who I actually am as a person. I’m basically lying to myself. I become who they want me to be and I lose myself in that situation. Doing this lead me to become stuck in a depressive state as I would suppress my true emotions, my real thoughts and I took actions opposite to my desires. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should start expressing all of the negative thoughts you may have held in your mind about how much of a bitch Susan is. No, I don’t really know a Susan, but you get my point. There are better ways to treat a situation. We’ll talk about those in another chapter though!
To be yourself is honestly a hard phrase to depict. In a way, we’re all the same in human nature but every single one of us has something unique that makes us the person we are today. Part of it is finding what makes you unique. Find your talents, your aspirations, your personality and find the reasons behind why these make you who you are. It is a huge dose of introspection but mostly experience. While writing this, I do realize that being yourself is definitely easier said than done. If you work in a determined fashion to gather the experience that will help you find your purpose in life, you will see a fruitful future ahead of you and you will feel accomplished. I’m no fortune teller, for sure, but I can’t fathom how self-development would correlate with negative outcomes. Getting to know yourself will bring you the most amazing surprises in life, trust me on this one. After all, life is just a long ass roller coaster with a series of events that will eventually lead you towards the discovery of self. Might as well start discovering who you are today. So, make the most of it and discover, explore the unknown and forget that fear even exists. Be an explorer of the universe.
You can’t let others choose your life for you. Part of being yourself is making the all of the important decisions concerning you.
While I can’t really tell you how to be your particular self, I can give you advice on how to seek who you are. You may choose to take this advice or not to, it’s all up to YOU. A quiet state of mind is definitely the best way to head into exploration of oneself. One of the ideal ways to achieve a quiet and relaxed state of mind would be to practice yoga and meditation. They help to quiet the negative and loud voices that keep telling you that you can’t. With this quietness, you can now see the blue sky behind the gray clouds, even if this is a temporary relief for now. It will become your experience of the world around you after enough time spent focusing on the sky instead of the gray clouds. When depression’s shadow is lurking above you, you don’t immediately realize it and the shadow sneaks up on you over time until you finally notice it but at that point, it’s a long road back to the light. It requires tremendous patience on the path to happiness.
As I mentioned in my previous post as well, you have to be true to your desires, your wants and needs. You can’t let others choose your life for you. Part of being yourself is making the all of the important decisions concerning you.
Let yourself be as free as a bird and fly to the greatest heights with all the potential that you carry.
A big decision, on my end, has been the career side of things. It took me an extended amount of time to finally understand what I wanted to accomplish. One interesting read I’ve looked into this week was an article about a study that was done in which one third of people viewed their work as a job, the other third viewed it was a career and finally the last third viewed it as a calling. Those who viewed their work as a calling were the ones who were the happiest among the groups. Are we really surprised? To me, it’s an obvious correlation. When we love what we do, we are fulfilled in this area of life. It brings us happiness instead of the dread that being unfulfilled brings us.
The connection between knowing yourself and fulfillment as well as happiness is one that we don’t take notice of often. It may be a rather Utopian way of thinking but we should be feeling fulfilled in all areas of life. Sure, bad days happen and even bad weeks but those bad days won’t change the fact that you love your spouse, your occupation or your environment. If you’re happy with someone or somewhere, you would want to stay in that situation. While, if you’re unhappy, you would want to flee but may be afraid of the uncertainty of life. Part of knowing yourself is knowing the answer to the questions you are having in mind right now. Take time to collect your thoughts and turn them into action. You will be fulfilled when you know yourself fully enough to know what you desire.
Finally, I really do believe that we’re all beautiful in our own way, just like snowflakes. Even though they may have similar patterns, just as human nature does, they are still unique snowflakes with visible differences when you look closely at them. It’s comparable to when you get to know someone very well, you see what traits make this person unique. As cliché as all of this sounds, I believe that we all have our special place and purpose in this amazing universe. Don’t be afraid to seek yours. Let yourself be as free as a bird and fly to the greatest heights with all the potential that you carry.
Have a beautiful day 🙂
Quote for today:
No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world -Robin Williams